Archive for July, 2006

Drunken Master Jackie Chan Disrupted Concert

July 13th 2006

The Drunken Master Strikes Back

An apparently intoxicated Jackie Chan disrupted a concert by Taiwanese singer-songwriter Jonathan Lee in Hong Kong and exchanged insults with the audience, a news report said Tuesday.

Ming Pao Daily News said Chan suddenly jumped on stage at the concert Monday night and demanded a duet with Lee. He then tried to conduct the band but stopped and restarted the music several times, Ming Pao said.

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Who can blame him, he’s probably itching to unleash his drunken fist since he hasn’t gotten much opportunities to do so in all his lameass movies.

As the awkward interruption dragged on, audience members started to heckle Chan and the actor replied with an insult, according to the report.

The newspaper quoted Chan as saying on stage that he was drunk.

Chan was an invited performing guest at Lee’s earlier show Sunday night.

Jackie Chan: Yeah, John, I’m going to fook your concert up you hear me

Jonathan Lee: Hmmmm. Uhhhh..

It must had been freakin’ hilarious! Poor Jonathan Lee must had been horrified to death at that time. There was his concert as well as friendship with one of the most powerful performers in Asia to consider. He could have fooked up both of them if he took a wrong stance.

A spokesman for Chan, Solon So, said he hadn’t seen Chan since the alleged incident and had no immediate comment. He said he didn’t attend the concert.

Concert organizers didn’t immediately return a reporter’s call seeking comment.

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Everyone’s probably hoping that the storm would drift away just like that. Fat chance!!!

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Mawi The Spineless Dumbass and Ina Break Off Engagement

July 12th 2006

Ina, obviously pissed with Mawi’s lack of spinal support

She was to be his pillar of strength. But for singing sensation Asmawi “Mawi” Ani of Akademi Fantasia 3, his fiancee Noordiana Mohd Naim let him down when it mattered most.

Mawi’s life has been in upheaval since his late father, Ani Ahmad, was hospitalised two months ago with heart failure.

It was a trying period and all he needed was for Noordiana or “Ina” to provide him with moral support and comfort.

But the day Mawi’s father died, the news was overshadowed by Ina’s announcement of their break-up.

Real good timing, Mawi. I think you must have waited long for the right opportunity to ditch Ina. Don’t blame Ina for anything, blame her for having good womanly instinct.

Ina claimed that Mawi had called off their engagement in a telephone conversation with her last Friday.

“We are not fated to be together… I’m sorry, Ina,” said Mawi, in a tell-all interview in Johor Baru earlier this week.

“Yes, Ina and I did speak on the phone but I never indicated that our relationship was over,” he said.

“Sure, we had an exchange of words, but it was just a lovers’ quarrel.

“What would you do if you were in my shoes? My father was ill and she knew what I was going through.”

According to him, Ina had called him several times while his father was in the hospital, insisting on setting their wedding date.

She had even given him an ultimatum: fix a date or she would walk out of the relationship.

“I couldn’t think straight. How could I when my father was in critical condition at the time?”

Mawi said he had met Ina and her family in Kuala Lumpur about a month ago to talk about their impending marriage.

He had asked Ina to be patient, explaining to her that his family would handle the matter as soon as his father was better.

I’m sure Ina had seen it coming, which was why she was so persistent on getting the wedding date set. It’s only natural to latch on to your lover when he’s slipping away before your very eyes. Mawi is such a spineless bastard.

“They agreed and I thought she understood that we wouldn’t discuss the matter until a more appropriate time.”

Mawi found it mind-boggling that Ina seemed oblivious to what he was experiencing. He questioned her wisdom and poor timing.

“Her decision to talk to the Press seemed like an act of defiance,” he said.

“I don’t understand why she did it. Moreover, I don’t see the need for her to do photo shoots or interviews. She is my fiancee and I’d prefer my private life to be just that.

“What irks me more is that she broke our promise that no matter what, we would never discuss our private lives in public.

“That is just too personal. It’s more baffling when most of the reports aren’t even accurate.”

When asked about their current status, Mawi said, contrary to newspaper reports, he’s officially still engaged.

“But after what has happened this past week, I have no feelings for her any more.

What a classic case of pot calling the kettle black. Hello Mawi, what you’re doing now isn’t much different from what you’re criticising. Not just your singing sucks, your character is one stinking bull shit as well.

“The damage has been done. It’s too late to salvage our relationship. She has left a huge scar on it,” said an emotional Mawi.

“She’s not the same person I used to know back then. When we first met in 2004, Ina was this reserved and sweet girl,” he said, as he picked up a Malay tabloid carrying a front-page report about the family of a policeman from Kedah intending to ask Ina’s hand in marriage.

Mawi calmly said: “Alhamdulillah, I wish her well. I think this is best for her.”

When asked about his next course of action, he replied: “I’m waiting for the mourning period to be over before my family meets her family. I hope Ina will accept my decision with an open mind.”

Don’t think she’s got any choice now, has she? Mawi, go back to your kampung!

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Paris Hilton Exposes Her Vagina That Looks Like Butchered Testicles

July 11th 2006

Is that Paris Hilton’s vagina?

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Or testicles?

To be honest, it looks to me like infested overused rubber. Get some plastic surgery for your bits, Paris!

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Paris Hilton Exposes Her Vagina That Looks Like Butchered Testicles

July 11th 2006

Is that Paris Hilton’s vagina? Click to view uncensored version.

Or testicles? Click to view uncensored version.

To be honest, it looks to me like infested overused rubber. Get some plastic surgery for your bits, Paris!

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71 Year Old Sophia Loren to Pose NUDE For Pirelli

July 10th 2006

Veteran sex symbol Sofia Loren, first featured on magazine covers half a century ago, will appear for next year’s Pirelli calendar dressed up only in diamond earrings.

The voluptuous Italian screen legend, who will celebrate her 72nd birthday on September 20, joins a galaxy of international female stars posing in the nude for the 2007 cult calendar, the Italian magazine Gente (People) reported Wednesday.

Sophia Loren

She looks like the result of leaving a rubber band out in the sun too long

Oh my gawd! What is Sophia Loren trying to do? Make everyone pukes 2 weeks worth of dinner?

But screen director Gianni Boncompagni thought otherwise. “I don’t see the use of it,” he was quoted as saying.

And Sofia herself?

“You have to be firm about it when you make up your mind to do something you like and you’ve been thinking about doing for a long time,” she told Gente, which reports that Loren has just a completed a health cure.

Couple of decades ago…

71 years sure was a long time. I wonder how many trillion years will it take to transform her to her former glory with Photoshop.

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Prince Albert of Monaco Is Not Gay!

July 6th 2006

Prince Albert

I used to think that Prince Albert of Monaco was gay.

Monaco’s Prince Albert II – who last year officially recognized a toddler son he’d fathered with a Togolese flight attendant – has now acknowledged a second child born out of wedlock: a 14-year-old girl living in California.

Not only is he not gay. He’s also a stud!

The unmarried Albert, 48, “officially recognizes a paternity that was legally established a few weeks ago,” his lawyer, Thierry Lacoste, is quoted as saying in an interview with French newspaper Le Figaro published Thursday.

According to the Associated Press, Lacoste also said that Albert had intended to keep his parentage of Jazmin Grace Rotolo secret until she reached adulthood, but “the situation had become untenable for her” in recent weeks as speculation about the identity of her father increased.

Untenable what? If I were a teenager, I’d want people to know I’m a bleedin’ princess!

Prince Albert’s latest illegitimate child, Jazmin Grace

The bloodline of the teen, who lives in Palm Desert, Calif., was hinted at Wednesday by the Palm Springs newspaper The Desert Sun, which reported that Rotolo’s 1992 Riverside County birth certificate identifies her father as Albert Alexandre Louis Pierre Grimaldi of Monaco.

The royal palace refused to comment to The Desert Sun, calling the matter a private affair of the prince.

French media reports have said Albert had a brief affair with the girl’s mother, former waitress Tamara Rotolo, in 1991 when she vacationed on the French Riviera.

How brief? It was two weeks long. I must say it’s rather commendable of Prince Albert to assume responsibility though.

The Desert Sun said it was unable to reach Tamara, but Lacoste said Jazmin is welcome in Monaco – though she cannot take the throne and will not bear the Grimaldi family name.

The same holds true for Albert’s other out-of-wedlock child, 3-year-old Alexandre.

Who cares about the throne or the name? This girl probably won’t need to work for the rest of her life.

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Keira Knightley Is Anorexic?

July 5th 2006

British actress Keira Knightley on Tuesday denied rumors she was suffering from the eating disorder anorexia.

Speaking a day after a revealing dress she wore at the London premiere of her latest film prompted questions about her weight, she added that she had a family history of the illness.

So your family had a history of the sickness? Splendid way to deny your anorexia rumours, Keira.

Keira Knightley has had on many occassions mentioned her dissatisfaction towards her body, which is one of the more obvious symptoms of Anorexia. Add that to her rail-thin frame, I think we have a pretty much confirmed case here.

The dress that told the world

“It was really weird, they said that to me yesterday,” the 21-year-old told a news conference, referring to the premiere of “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” in which she stars alongside
Johnny Depp.

“They asked: ‘How does it feel to be always called anorexic?’ I had no idea that I was. I can safely say that I’m not.

“I’ve got a lot of experience with anorexia. It was in my family. My grandmother, and my great-grandmother suffered from it and I had a lot of friends at school who suffer from it so I don’t think it’s anything to be taken lightly.”

I’m sure you have A LOT of experience. You know what ought not to be taken lightly, Keira? Your food.

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